Girly Deficient

[taffimai]

You know, I often feel like there are girly-type things that everyone else seems to know how to do and at which I am just slightly hopeless.

Tonight's example? I've spent the last hour doing my nails and all I have to show for it is a barely passable clear polish. I cannot manage color to save my life.

Did I miss a "How To Be a Girl" orientation class somewhere?

ETA: I wouldn't even mind that much if I'd gotten the "How To Be a Lesbian" class! At least then I'd know how to change my oil.

Comments

[hllangel]

Hell, I can't even paint my toenails well. You're not alone.

[taffimai.livejournal.com]

I have never had polish on my toes. Ever.

Honestly, I don't think I'd bother with my hands except that if I don't I pick at the resultant hangnails and my hands end up a torn bloody mess. Not professional.

[hllangel]

Yeah. I randomly stopped biting my nails a few years ago, but I still pick at the cuticles. It's not as bad as it used to be, though.

[taffimai.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I stopping biting my nails randomly too. Now if I could just keep the cuticle in decent shape...

[http://users.livejournal.com/_medley_/]

Heels and eyeliner--I'm hopeless with both. I must've missed class that day, too.

[taffimai.livejournal.com]

Ah, I can do heels. The not-insanely-high kind, anyway.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_medley_/]

I'll polish your fingernails, you teach me how to walk in heels? Although at this point, I'm okay with not being able to.

[chaos-by-design.livejournal.com]

*phew* I must have missed the same class. I'm pretty retarded at both the application of nail polish and eyeliner. Oy.

[taffimai.livejournal.com]

See, I find eyeliner a hell of a lot easier than eye shadow.

[chaos-by-design.livejournal.com]

Really? But...you apply eye shadow to a greater surface area! Does not compute! Does not compute!

Ah, I never bother with makeup anyway. Too much trouble and it makes my face feel funny.

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

nailpolish or eye makeup are my weakness. And how to put on stockings without causing them to run. They're just evil

[taffimai.livejournal.com]

Can't help with the eye makeup, really. But ... stockings aren't really hard for me. First, make absolutely sure you have the right size. I really only ruin stockings when I'm trying to squeeze into something just a little too small. If you still have trouble, try putting them on while wearing slim fit gloves. The overnight moisturizing kind work well.

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

ah, the gloves or something like that might be key- I'm always snagging with my nails or something.

as for eye makeup- I've even perused sites and articles online that supposedly explain how. I still fail

[minim_calibre]

I think I stole your polish-fu...

::glances at area round laptop, currently occupied by base coat, top coat, thinner, one bottle of polish, and one bottle of 100% acetone remover; thinks about the drawers of polish organized by brand and the spillover shoe boxes, plural::

...and possibly that of just about everyone else here.

I can direct people to nail polish blogs! I think Nail Tech Secrets is still up, and it has fabulous directions! I, umm. Really, the only advice I ever give is that the trick is to be willing to fail multiple times while getting the hang of it, and as far as eye makeup goes, practicing in the privacy of your own home, pretending you're a drag queen getting ready for a show.

I admit, I learned how to apply makeup in drama class. From boys. Plus, I'd be forced to turn in my dusty Goth Card if I failed Makeup 101. (It's like painting or drawing! Only on your face! And sometimes other places! Yes, this is how I wound up with magenta streaks of Manic Panic staining my face and half my body once in college when I was bored and it wasn't 90210 night.)

[taffimai.livejournal.com]

Hey, no stealing polish-fu!

That's awesome, really. I've read a bit and I know a little. Honestly, I'm reluctant to spend the money on the nail supplies if I'll still have to go to the salon to get them to look decent. Which is very likely given my utter lack of skill. It's cheap, I know, but ...

As for make-up, maybe that's the problem. I can't draw even a little.

[honorh.livejournal.com]

Nah, I can't draw worth crap, but I still love me some makeup. Are you sure you're getting the right colors? That can make a huge amount of difference. Try eyeshadow shades that contrast with your eye color--for blue, brown; for green, plum; for hazel, pinks and peaches; and for brown, well, anything colored will do ya. Also, I chuck the sponge applicators that come with the makeup and use my own set of brushes. Much easier to control the blending that way.

[crayonbreakygal.livejournal.com]

Oh man, did I miss this class too. I slapped a coat of clear nail polish on my nails tonight and it looked like crap. How can clear look bad? I'm passable with the makeup. Can't figure out how to pluck my eyebrows for anything.

[taffimai.livejournal.com]

Oh, I used to have problems with my eyebrows too! Then I figured out a two-step coping strategy:

1) Throw away any tweezer with which I had trouble gripping the hair (all of them) and find one that I could actually pull with. The Revlon Slant Tip Micro Fine Tweezer is great.

2) Go to a salon to get your eyebrows done and from then on just pluck the regrowth daily. I go back to the salon about once a year to make sure I haven't gotten too off track.

[geeky-dani.livejournal.com]

Do you find that those tweezers get dull very quickly? They are my tweezers of choice, but I have to replace them at least once a quarter. I tends towards caveman brow with thick hairs so they get quite the workout but after a couple months they don't grip well enough to do anything anymore.

[kattahj.livejournal.com]

I think we are severly disadvantaged by not caring enough to do this crap every day since we were twelve.

[taffimai.livejournal.com]

Heh. Probably.

[roseveare.livejournal.com]

I can do nail varnish, but not so much everything else. Although my choice of colour in nail varnish tends not to be like everyone else's (dark green, metallic grey, dayglo yellow/pink/orange/green... half the fun is in watching my boss notice it and explode).

[taffimai.livejournal.com]

*snickers* Hey, if you can get away with it....

[geeky-dani.livejournal.com]

I have always been completely incompetant at behind-the-back bra-removal.

I didn't wear one regularly until I was 22, and have never gotten the knack of slick removal (either on myself - I always have to turn it around - or on anyone else - which understandably makes girls suspicious about how gay one is).

Apparently I need remedial studies in BOTH how to be a girl and how to be a lesbian - this seems way more basic than either nail polish or oil changing, both of which I am okay at. *grins*

[rustydog.livejournal.com]

I missed the class - I'm not sure I even knew there was one. It's only been in the past few years, since hanging out on the internet actually, that I've realized I am deficient in girly things. Mostly it's that I don't care - I wear clunky shoes and forget to bother with earrings, I don't do any makeup beyond powder. No heels, no hose, no polish. (When I was wearing sandals a lot I learned to paint my toenails, but I find fingernail polish very distracting, because I can *see* it every time my hands move.)

But there are other things I sometimes hear other girls talk about as if they are something *every* girl should know, and those who don't are cretins - eyebrow plucking, for instance, and several aspects of intimate personal grooming come to mind - that I didn't know about at all. Not just knowing how to do them, but that they were things that were done by anyone. I don't think my mom was remiss in my education?

My dad did teach me to change my oil and change a tire, though. :)