Okay.

[taffimai]

I think I'm done crying over this. I hope. I feel better, anyway. Well, alternating between utterly calm and pissed off.

I've said this to a couple of people, but I think one of the reasons this sort of thing is so hard for me is cultural. I grew up in an Orthodox Jewish community, and marriage and relationships were different there. It wasn't necessarily about true love, but it was good. It was about companionship and partnership and affection and unless something very unusual happened you didn't lose your partner unless they died. It was also true that all but the most awful people were married by the time they were 22.

I'm not saying that the way they did things was good or right or that anyone not in a relationship is inherently unlovable. I know that's not true, intellectually. But it is how I feel. I'm happier and more confident when I'm in a relationship, regardless of how good the relationship is (or isn't.) I don't understand people who are perfectly happily single.

natlyn says that it's stupid and I should work on getting over it. But as true as that may be, I don't know that it changes anything.

Comments

[tx-cronopio.livejournal.com]

Well, you feel what you feel. It doesn't matter if it's objectively stupid or not (not that I'm saying this is) -- it's what you feel. And damn, who doesn't feel like crap after a breakup? I don't think you should have to explain that.

How long were you together?

[taffimai.livejournal.com]

Seven months. But it's the first time I'd fallen for someone in a while, and ... yeah, stupid.

[tx-cronopio.livejournal.com]

Stop that! Not stupid to feel love, it's what makes us human. I'm so sorry you got hurt, but the only way not to get hurt is not to love. I've known people like that, and you are way too good to live that way!

OK, Aunt Pat stepping off soapbox now ;)

[taffimai.livejournal.com]

Hee, soapboxes are fun, no worries.