taffimai

I think I'm done crying over this. I hope. I feel better, anyway. Well, alternating between utterly calm and pissed off.

I've said this to a couple of people, but I think one of the reasons this sort of thing is so hard for me is cultural. I grew up in an Orthodox Jewish community, and marriage and relationships were different there. It wasn't necessarily about true love, but it was good. It was about companionship and partnership and affection and unless something very unusual happened you didn't lose your partner unless they died. It was also true that all but the most awful people were married by the time they were 22.

I'm not saying that the way they did things was good or right or that anyone not in a relationship is inherently unlovable. I know that's not true, intellectually. But it is how I feel. I'm happier and more confident when I'm in a relationship, regardless of how good the relationship is (or isn't.) I don't understand people who are perfectly happily single.